How does the author address the theme of grief and loss as noted in the memoir, You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me?

Throughout the memoir, grief and loss play a critical role in the author's attempt to come to terms with the tragedies of his childhood. Even at a young age, death was a common occurrence on the reservation and Alexis had attended a few dozen wakes and funeral. For Alexis, grieving is a communal response, and it was not until he witnessed the funeral of one of his Reardan classmates that he becomes aware that grief, though universal, is internalized and expressed differently.

Within his memoir, Alexie writes, "My name is Sherman Alexie and I was born from loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss and loss. And loss" (141). This quotation epitomizes the significance of grief and loss that runs throughout the memoir. His father was orphaned; his mother lost her innocence through violence thrust upon her; they both had been spiritually orphaned by the loss of the salmon, and his community had lost sacred aspects of his culture that had been brutally stolen from them. While loss was a part of everyday existence, it is a process that never truly ends, but one that can hopefully change into acceptance over time.