Jake Semple is the thirteen-year-old protagonist of the novel. All his life, people have been telling Jake that he's "a bad kid" and that he won't ever amount to anything. From the age of two, Jake has been using vile curse words just to get a reaction out of people, and it has worked. When swearing no longer gets him the negative attention he craves, Jake changes his look, incorporating dyed-red hair gelled into spikes, spiked dog collars around his neck, and all black clothing.