What might Dillard's fascination and stories about the praying mantis demonstrate?

It seems to demonstrate both her fascination and revulsion of the world of nature. Dillard wants to observe the tiniest details of the insect world, as she lies on the grass to approach a female laying her eggs. Yet, Dillard is also horrified about the method of reproduction in the praying mantis, wherein the female bites off the head of the male before he even mounts her. This dualistic response to much of her observations of nature is something Dillard works to reconcile throughout the book. By the end of the year of observations, Dillard seems to be partially successful at accepting both the beauty and the horror of nature.